Tuesday, February 27, 2007

"Ou'est mon mare le prince rebelle"

Indeed. Okay, I hate getting psycho like this because it's really nothing. So, I've been talking to this guy on Myspace for like a month. Lately it's been picking up. For the past three days alone we've posted on each others' comment walls like psychos. We really don't talk about serious things. I've asked him a few things, but I've been thinking he doesn't really want to get to know me as a person, just someone to joke with.

I really enjoy joking around, which is pretty much all we can do because he's in the STL region. But he's soo attractive and funny, and he seems so sweet. I really want to meet him. He'd be so much fun to drink with and I know he'd like my friends because we're all crazy. Haha. It's just nice to have something to look forward to. He seems interested (a little). It says he's not looking for anything, which is fine, but I'm smitten. Oh, my God, I am. I'm smitten.

And another thing that I hate thinking is...what if he wouldn't like me in real life? What if I'm not attractive enough? What if my personality isn't what he thought it'd be? I hate meeting people online.

Okay, now that I've totally psychoed all over the place, I need to say for the record that I am perfectly sane and realistic. All I want to do is meet him, not move in and adopt puppies with him. ALL I'm saying is that he's a little charmer and I like that I have something to look forward to when the day sucks balls. It's nice to have someone give me a smile. End of story. I'm not holding my breath or an object he's touched. Too cute though.

(Photos from Beautiful)

Jenny Lewis & the Watson Twins

I can't believe it's been a year since Jenny Lewis came out with her album. I found this video for a great song, "Rise Up With Fists," on her alubm "Rabbit Fur Coat". Great album. Everyone should buy it. I hope she records a new one, or at least will work with Rilo Kiley on a new album soon. I'd love to see them in concert. I saw them with Coldplay, but that venue was so large you couldn't enjoy them. The Pageant would be great.

God, Inc., Episode 4

Being A Part of the Team

So, I'm starting my second week at Target tomorrow (essenitally). I really don't know how I feel about it. The first day I was not having it. The second day was better, but I just have no desire to be in a retail environment again.

However, tonight I got a clue as to what my job title might actually be. The cashier trainer tonight mentioned that I have some level of clearance or access to something. She asked if I was a "Team Lead" which means am I a manager of a particular department. I said I wasn't, but I am getting paid a little more for whatever the hell I'm supposed to do. That's another thing, I don't know what my job is? I've read the description and the things I'm responsible for, but it's like they're talking in a different language. I'm serious. Target definately has their own lingo and it's not translateable. I just want someone to explain to me what I'm doing with no bullshit "team talk". And I'd like to know if I have a greater duty than that my co-workers because then I'll most definately have to step it up a notch.

Talking 'bout my generation

So, I haven't posted in a while (and tonight we're making up and making love).

I took a trip with Sonya to STL last Friday, Saturday and Sunday (2/16-2/18). We hung out with her friends and attended the Soulard Mardi Gras festivities. On Saturday in particular we met up with her friend Monica, and went to Monica's friends, Brad and Ashley's house. They were a handsome, young couple (21 years-old). We smoked and I got really stoned and since I was in a new environment I was kind of freaking out a little. I got particularly paranoid about their house.

Okay, I'm not one to get too intimidated by the riches in life but since I was high I was affected negatively.

This couple had a three-story house. Sonya made it seem common place, but this was no cookie-cutter, already furnished, cheap place. The house had to be a cool million at max. (I mean I'm sure their parents paid for it, or maybe they have an extreme mortgage, but seeing how they were currently both unemployed, I have my doubts).

The place was nicely furnished (not the best, I mean they are 21 and stretched for resources).

What I couldn't get over was how the place was decorated. It's like the place is a new template to what our generations' homes will look like. White, clean kitchen with the wook-top island in the center. The living room had a love seat, couch, coffee table and fire mantle converted into bar in the corner. In the formal dinning room they had the pool table set-up. They had a breakfast nook with a table for two. Upstairs was the master bedroom, guest room and bathroom. In the basement was the white-stoned fireplace, black leather couch facing the TV. They even dug a hole in the wall to create a little smoking room that's built for a five-group to hot box it.

It just freaked me out that this couple had it so together. They're TWENTY-ONE. I'm not sure I can even get through my taxes without help. But it made me question: is this the new standard for my generation? Do we desire to keep smoking weed enough to put in a four by four foot room? Is this the new norm? I mean, it's cool of course. But I wonder if drinking and smoking is something we will desire to keep doing? And I'm wondering if more and more educated are smoking? I mean, it's a psychoactive drug, so, why not? It gets you to think MORE. Educated people think. And a side note: educated people earn more and usually people who make more buy really good weed.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Another birthday come and gone!

So, today is my second day of having been alive for 23 years. So, 23 years and two days. Hmm...I don't feel old (which is key), but I'm growing older. Maybe wiser?

Here are some of my b-day facts thanks to wikipedia.org:

February 15: Candlemas in Eastern Christianity; Flag Day in Canada; National Day in Serbia; Fat Thursday (2007).

1898 - The USS Maine exploded and sank in Havana, Cuba, killing more than 260 people and precipitating the Spanish-American War.
1942 - World War II: General Tomoyuki Yamashita led the Japanese forces to capture the so called "impregnable fortress" of Singapore.
1971 - The British pound sterling and the Irish pound were decimalised on what is called Decimal Day.
1989 - The Soviet Union officially announced that all of its troops had withdrawn from Afghanistan.
2003 - Millions around the world took part in protests against the impending invasion of Iraq.

Wikipedia's featured pic on Feb. 15

The marketplace of Göttingen, a city in Lower Saxony, Germany, with the old city hall, Gänseliesel fountain and pedestrian zone. Founded before 1200, the city is famous for Georg-August University, which was founded in 1737 and became the most visited university of Europe.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Naked and loving it!

Happy V-Day!!! Happy birthday Mom!

I'm about half way through Naked and I'm loving it!!! I would like to review the book after I'm done, but I don't think I'm good enough to write a review about a book, is that weird? I mean, books are so much more complex than movies or music. To define what is great about a book is like trying to define why the stars are brillant. Each person has a different reason why they love books and what turns them on about each book.

I've decided to write my memoirs. I'll call it "Part Un" or some shit to signify that I really shouldn't be writing my memoirs. Today I wrote about getting high on 4/20. Haha. It's humorous, I think. I think I'm just inspired by Sedaris so much that I want to write like him. Well, I'm going to read now.

Oh, got a job at Target (not the best, but a job). I start Tuesday. May go to Mardi Gras festivities in the STL for the weekend. My b-day better be awesome.

Oh, and I just got done with an interview with one of the owners of C&R Supermarket for this story I'm writing. And another one of my pet peeves is having to pry out a damn response/answer to a question. Goddamn people, just indulge me.

Monday, February 12, 2007

God, Inc., Episode 3

Miami Heat

I have the strongest desire to be in a Michael Mann film. I really haven't seen too many of his films. But I LOVE Heat and Miami Vice. I know I've seen The Insider, but I can't remember it for its brillance. I just love the way his films are shot and the complexity of all the characters.

Mann has such a great eye. His director of photography for Miami Vice and Collateral was Dion Beebe. For The Insider and Heat he used Dante Spinotti. I like the way he can make things feel really gritty and real by having the camera jolt and move (a la Law & Order) and then steady it during a more calming scene or to further the story.

But really, I want the chance to play a cop. I want to do shoot-out scenes. I want to drive a powerboat. To just be a badass-mother-fucker.

I really hope they make a sequel and Jamie Foxx doesn't puss out because of his experience on the first one.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Friday, February 2, 2007


Thirteen days 'til 23...that's scary.

The Destination

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to be." ~ Charlotte, Lost in Translation

(This entry may be a little despondent).

Right now I most identify with Charlotte from Lost in Translation. I recently graduated college and I don't know where I fit in in life. I know a year from now I'll look on this and think about how ridiculous I am being (though I don't ever go back and re-read what I wrote). But for now, this is where I am.

I've never needed money so much in my life. I can't afford rent. My mom can't help me either. I can't pay my credit card bills. I can't get hired for a part-time job because "they" worry I will turn around and leave once I'm hired for a full-time job.

I know WHAT I want to be; I just don't know how to get there. But I think everyone has this feeling during these transitional phases. Why is it that we are so concerned with the destination when it's the journey that makes us who we are? What we are?

I'm Charlotte because I'm an intelligent, cynical person. Someone who laughs at people's incompetence. I worry constantly about the future and disregard the past by the passing minute. This is why I am so worried about the future. That's what I focus on. Like I said, at least I know what I want to be, but the worry on how to get there is so consuming at times. It just takes time and it's hard to accept. That's my permanent impatience right there.

I've also scrounged up enough money to buy a pack of cigarettes tonight. I know this is bad, but since I don't have a gym membership, I need some stress relief. I think this is allowable for my current state.

Great movie. I am comforted to know that finding your path never really ends.