Monday, December 31, 2007

The Year in 2007

So, the reviews are in and 2007 sucked.

Let's see, I started off pretty up-in-the-air after having graduated.

I started working at Target in February, which turned out to be not so bad. Cool people. I got a cool friend out of it. I met a new headcase that I spent more time thinking about than I'd like to admit. Red and khaki is just obnoxious when you think about it.

I then turned my attention to the Humane Society, aka Satan's Playhouse of Terror and Soul-sucking. I really think that job has been the most damaging thing I've ever done thus far. Key word being: thus far.

Now it's nowhere fast. I've been plagued by lack of motivation and lack of enthusiasm. Everyone can see I'm unhappy. I can no longer pretend to enjoy people's company. I'm discouraged because I don't have a job and even more so because I don't have money to pay my debts, let alone enjoy myself out on a night on the town with my friends.

At least 2007 was my year. I mean, I really did a lot and went through a lot without much distraction from others.

These little hurts will heal.

Okay, top five movies:

1. Across the Universe

2. Grindhouse

3. The Darjeeling Limited

4. Knocked Up

5. Hot Fuzz

Top five albums:

1. M.I.A. - Kala

2. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black

3. Rilo Kiley - Under the Blacklight

4. Timbaland - Timbaland Presents Shock Value

5. Across the Universe Soundtrack

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Ah, Johnny Depp and Tim Burton. How many of your pairings will give pop-culture it's most treasured cinematic gems?

Well, maybe not most of them. And probably not this one, but still, this dark and devilish musical about a barber who returns from exile to get his revenge on the man who done him wrong is wickedly fun.

Unlike the more family friendly collaborations Edward Scissorhands or Corpse Bride, this is Burton and Depp at their darkest and most satirical.

Sweeny Todd, or Benjamin Barker as he was known before Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) sent him to an Australian prison because he lusted after his wife. Now Todd is back, renting a shop from twisted sister Mrs. Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter), and is ready to exact his revenge. And does he? Let's just say that the blood, in its exquisite exaggerated red, spill all over the screen. So delicious.

Carter, Burton's real-life love, is despicable and delectable as the somewhat manipulative Mrs. Lovett who cooks the worst meat pies in all London.

The dynamic between Depp and Carter is great fun and the two characters' collaborations in murder feed each others need to exact their revenge on a world that has forgotten them.

The music and singing are good. Depp shows his great range, yet again, with his singing ability. Carter is quiet and mousy, but respectable. The only problem with the singing is the difficulty of making out what they say through their thick British accents. Look for a scene stealing Sacha Baron Cohen as a rival barber.

The look is classic Burton; dark, exaggerated and stylistic. The fun is in the killing, if you can stomach the red paint used for blood. ***B***

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Decisions, decisions

So, I have zero percent clue where to make my next move.

I feel like there's this sign from the universe when Jordan came back. And she's going back to Cali. I know I don't have money to move there, but I don't know if I can handle staying back here for another six months.

I'm exhausted from investing all my time in a place I don't want to be. A place that can't afford me the opportunities that I seek.

Hopefully I can make a trip with Jordan out to go get her car, head to Cali, and maybe look for jobs there while I'm away. MAYBE even find a place that'll give me a moving bonus? Eh?

Seriously. Why is it always something?

Friday, December 21, 2007

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Again, I'm Bored

Your Kisses Are Spicy and Wild

Your kisses are powerful stuff. They'll start a fire in almost anyone you kiss.
You kiss with passion, skill, and endurance. Anyone who kisses you is in for a long, intense ride.
You better watch out though. Your incredible kisses are likely to get you in trouble!

You Belong in Los Angeles

Whether you'll admit it or not, a huge part of you likes being in the spotlight.
And you may just have enough star quality to make it big in LA!
Even if you don't become famous, you still belong in a place where you can get a year round tan.

You Are Tequilla

When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk!
You'll take any shot that's offered up to you...
Even if it tastes like sock sweat!
And you're never afraid of eating the worm.

Your Ideal Marriage Proposal Is

After dinner at your favorite restaurant, at the spot where you first kissed.

Your Androgynous Name Is:

Valentine Royce

Your EQ is 113

You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

On an average day, you're quite happy, together, and content. You live your life well.
Your emotions aren't always stable, but you can go along with the ups and downs pretty well.

You tend to be motivated, energetic, focused, and level headed.
You see the world pretty rationally, and you don't tend to over dramatize things. When things are bad, you know they eventually have to get better.

You Are Most Like Liv Tyler

“I don't want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.”

Christmas Tests

You Should Have a Gold Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays represent a time of optimism and wealth.
You definitely have a generous spirit, and you give a lot during the holiday season.

You really go over the top for Christmas. Everyone on your list gets a great gift.
Even if you don't have a lot of money during the holidays, it's the one time you pretend like you do.

Your gold tree would look great with: All kinds of metallic decorations

You should spend Christmas Eve watching: Miracle on 34th St

What you should bake for Santa: A ton of cookies, cupcakes, and candy. You would enjoy spoiling him.

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about emotional connections and bonds. You are happiest being around those you love.

You celebrate the holidays in a minimalist style. You are likely to only give one great present and decorate your house with a few special items.

During the holidays, you feel magical. You love all of the decorations and how happy people are. You like to sit back and take it all in.

You think the holidays should be nostalgic and sweet. The holidays bring out your inner child.

Your best holiday memories are of childhood foods and traditions. You secretly still wish you believed in Santa Claus.

You Are Dancer

Carefree and fun, you always find reasons to do a happy dance.

Why You're Naughty: That dark stint you had as Santa's private dancer.

Why You're Nice: You're friendly. Very friendly.

You Are a Trifle

No doubt, you have many intricate layers. But deep down, you're a little squishy.

You Are an Angel

A truly giving soul, you understand the spirit of Christmas.

Your Christmas Song Is

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say it glows.

For you, Christmas is a mix of tradition and fun.
You're not above strapping on a red blinking nose for a laugh

Your Christmas is Most Like: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

You can't really get into the Christmas spirit...
But it usually gets to you by the end of the holiday.

For the twelve days of Christmas, your true love will send you:

Twelve babies drumming
Eleven carolers a-caroling
Ten midgets a-leaping
Nine ladies yodeling
Eight alpacas a-milking
Seven rumballs a-drunkening
Six iPods a-playing
Five golden toe rings
Four calling secret admirers
Three French chefs bearing escargot
Two diamond pinky rings
And a fairy in a olive tree

You Are Pecan Pie Soda

Sweet, but totally nuts

Nope, You're Not a Grinch

Although you may feel Grinch-like at times, it's just because you're worn out from the holidays.
You get into the holiday spirit more than most people - and you truly enjoy celebrating with your family and friends.

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.
In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.
Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down.
Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

You Are Easter

You are an optimistic, hopeful, and genuinely sweet person.
Sensitive and affectionate, you are easily touched.
You love nature, animals, and anything cute or cuddly.
For you, every day is a new chance - no matter what happened yesterday.

What makes you celebrate: Almost anything. You love most holidays and celebrations.

At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The peacemaker. You can prevent any squabbles that might break out.

On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Remember to include everyone

Friday, December 14, 2007

Make Sure There's A Place for Cousin Jethro!

!Warning! This will not be a nice entry.

My mom got a Christmas card from one of her step-nephews today. It had a custom return address sticker made with the parents and the four kids faces on it. Yes, I said four children. Two from the wife's previous marriage and the two youngest from this union of holy matrimony. Below the custom faces is listed, "The Sapp Zoo".

I started laughing because of the embarrassing label of being called a "zoo". That's an open admission that you have too many children occupying space on this earth.

The family that the father, my mom's step-nephew, comes from are hoosier as you can throw a wood-burning stove at. The father seems to always have some sort of overalls on. The mother is loud and a complete alpha male. I believe our current lexicon would call her a "boss bitch". The children, two boys and a girl, all have names ending with a long "E" vowel sound.

There's a blissful ignorance that I admire in them though. They really don't focus on tomorrow or the bigger picture, either they don't have the brain function to or regard for the current times in which we as a society live. Let's give them enough credit to go with the latter.

But the thing that gets my admiration, which is little, is the fact that they live day to day and focus on their simple lives. Granted I think they have more times to focus on the little things, which drives me nuts to think about, so, maybe I'm living the better life. Surely.

Their simplicity is both heartbreaking and freeing. Heartbreaking because they'll never escape what it's like to have three children before the age of thirty. They'll never see how they can cease to contribute to humanity's woes by overhauling their lives to consume less. They're stuck in an uneducated tangle of lives lived in the woods. Where having Christmas in the garage of their hand-built house is the height of sophistication. What's more freeing that limiting ones own view of the world by sticking to your immediate vicinity?

Well, here's to you Bobby, Dusty, Rusty, Sandy, Cody, Toby, Kenny, Mindy, Wendy, Abby, Harry, Larry, Cherry, and Buck! I toast to your rise and our downfall!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Dreaming of It...

So, I was driving stoned from J-dawgs' bro's and "Californication" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers came on and I was thinking of no. 1 how amazing this band is, and no. 2, how right on the money that songs is.

There's sort of a refuge that people think of when they think of California. They think if they escape there they'll become the big star, or find more to their lives than they do now. A lot of times they get caught up in it though. All the bullshit. They get caught in trying to change into someone they think they want to be and step further and further away from the person they are.

I think there's a lot of knowledge out west and I want to go out there. To live away from this stone tower surrounded by walls of fields. It's suffocating. I want inspiration and experience. Sometimes I think I've exhausted everything there in Missouri. I know you have to make your own fun, but it's more than just fun, it's knowledge and experience I seek. And believe it or not, those things are limited where I am. Perhaps I won't even be happy elsewhere. Maybe this is as good as it gets?

I need a job to occupy my boredom.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

More Randomness

You Are Thanksgiving

You are a bit of a homebody who enjoys being in the company of people you love.
It doesn't take a lot to make you happy. You're enjoying life as it is.
You have many blessings in your life, and you are grateful for each one.
You believe that life is about what you *do* have. You feel like you have enough of the good stuff.

What makes you celebrate: Family, friends, and the changing of the seasons.

At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The host of the party

On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: Spend so much energy preparing that it's a full time job

You Are a Green Crayon

Your world is colored in harmonious, peaceful, natural colors.
While some may associate green with money, you are one of the least materialistic people around.
Comfort is important to you. You like to feel as relaxed as possible - and you try to make others feel at ease.
You're very happy with who you are, and it certainly shows!

Your color wheel opposite is red. Every time you feel grounded, a red person does their best to shake you.

You Should Rule Jupiter

Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity.

You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind.
You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power.

You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it.
Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out.

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people.
Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others.
You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others.
You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

G.I. Joe PSAs

For anyone that hasn't seen this hilarity.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

My Addiction to Black Holes

Based on a recent conversation with Andrew, last night to be exact, I've come up with the perfect analogy to describe my dysfunctionality.

Last Sunday, the 11th, double "A" texted me with a proposition to get together on Wednesday. Of course I engaged him and his behavior, rewarding him with a response. Of course hooking-up never came to fruition. Yeah, I was disappointed. Yeah, I was hesitant. Such an experience has never happened to me and for him to be my first would be of huge importance. Or would it? I kept telling myself it would be fine. I just want to get it over and done with anyway. But Amanda said to me that you really want your first time to be special before you go out and start screwing the world. Haha.

But still, I yearn for him. He's something that I want to conquer. I've come to the realization that I am attracted to major closet cases, not because they're closeted per se, but because they propose the hardest chase.

I know it's not fair to me that he can keep me on such a short leash. Responding to him is something that gives him power and I'm more that willing to give it to him. But I don't know why I can't just cut the cord? Why do I insist on playing a game of cat and mouse when a large part of me wants to settle down with someone I deserve?

Now he's moving, supposedly, and I want that chance. That taste. The blood.

I've really done a number on myself. I don't know why I'm so destructive. I regret too much sometimes I feel. I want to carpe diem, but I'm too timid by the possibility of being really hurt.

So, this is where the part of the black hole comes to the forefront. What do black holes do but suck up light? They destroy every thing that comes into their path by taking everything beautiful out of it. There's a certain dance that both stars and black holes do with gravity being their swan song. They dance and spin around until one caves.

Perhaps it wasn't meant to be, but man does that sure suck.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Friday, November 16, 2007


I just finished watching the movie Cashback with Amanda. I must say I was really impressed. I was thinking this was going to be a long movie and not interesting. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The movie begins after Ben, an artist at a university, breaks up with his girlfriend. Because he is so distraught by this, he becomes an insomniac. He eventually gets a job working the late shift at a local grocery store in order to pass the time away.

He eventually learns to slow down time and eventually stop it and literally live in a second. This is how he is able to draw and eventually paint such exquisite pieces. The stopping of time plays the most important role in the film and is used as an analogy for the audience.

The movie features a really strong narration as Ben explains how he creates his art. His muse? Women of course.

The movie features special effects and utilizes slow motion a lot.

My only complaint is the overuse of nudity, which borders on pornographic, to explain Ben's fascination with the female form. A fascination which he's had since he was a child and became mesmerized by the Swedish foreign exchange student living in his house.

The only reason why I think the nudity is in excess is because the narration is so strong, so beautiful, that having such strong imagery kind of distracts from the narration.

"You just have to see that love is wrapped in beauty and hidden away in between the seconds of your life. If you don't stop for a minute, you might miss it"

Beautiful film. ***A***