Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I Can See Through Bullshit

I love me some Barack-e-Poo, but home-boy came to rural, southern (not northern or eastern, or heaven forbid, central) Missouri. And in his speech Barack says, "Missourah."

I was livid. But then I thought about it. Barack knows. That hunk of black Panther knows it's "Missouri", he's just playing the game of politics. The game? Get voters who wouldn't normally vote for you to vote for you. How? By making them think you're one of them. "Look I'm just like you, 'Missourah!', I'm common as get-all!"

Oh, Barack-ie. You go get 'em!

Monday, July 28, 2008

We Are But Her Pawns!

AHahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Today I was watching Oprah and Chris Brown was on doing some good deed she demanded and he performed on her show. Or should I say she performed for Oprah. Seriously, it was like watching a queen in her court, her subjects around her, with the jester jumping around doing something musical. And the funniest part was when she stretched out her arms and while clapping like a queen says, "Oh my I am so amused by these silly clowns." (Just imagine Oprah as a Victorian British woman.

Wow, I thought it was funny, but then again I have a British woman stuck in my head all day.

But seriously, we have made her our queen. Queen Oprah. People go ape-shizzle for her. Long live the Queen!

Here's the clip. You can barely notice it, but look closely at Oprah at the end of Chris Brown's performance. Warning: the video is janky.

Monday, July 21, 2008

A Love Letter!

Dear Boys,

Yes, to boys. All men over 30 need not apply. Men under 21, grow up.

I love you. It's true. You who walk alone on the street. You who walk with your other bros down the street headed to drunkville. I. Love. You. Be not scared for it is I who begs on thy knees for thee.

I feel like Carrie Bradshaw when she had a dream where she walks up to complete strangers and kisses them.

I am this horny. I fear for the safety of our nation's men.


The Insincere

Wednesday, July 2, 2008


You Are Disco Dancing

You are very energetic and lively. You could dance all night.

Fun loving and social, you like dancing best when everyone in the room is dancing.

You love to dance to anything, and it's hard to stop once you start.

You love dancing in a crowd. And no matter how big the crowd, all eyes are usually on you.

You Are a Pistachio

You are funky, freaky, and a total character.

You're very different than anyone you know.

There's no way you're changing the way you are...

Which is good, because no one wants you to change.

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down.

Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times!

You are very comfortable in your own skin.

You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide.

Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic.

You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental.

You should live: Somewhere warm

You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense.

Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you.

Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people.

No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.

Your Interpersonal Intelligence Score: 64%

Your Interpersonal Intelligence is High

You are definitely a "people person." You enjoy spending time with others.

You instinctively understand people, and you are both a good counsellor and mediator.

However, there are definitely times when you've had enough. And that's when you cherish being alone.

You Are Pretty Charming

While you're not a natural charmer, you can be charming when you want to be.

And lucky for those around you, you usually feel like turning on the charm.

You project a happy, calm image - even when you're feeling the exact opposite.

You make people feel great about being around you... though you're not always up for putting in the effort.

What the House Test Says About You

You consider yourself important, but no more important than anyone else. You love attention, but you don't feel like you deserve more of it than anyone else.

You aren't against being community oriented, but it's not really your thing. You tend to prefer to focus on your family and not the neighborhood around you.

You are a social, friendly, and giving person. You like to bring people together and make them feel happy.

You look attractive, but mostly because your rely on your natural good looks to get by.

You are moved by the most simple of things. You can find pleasure from a small, perfect moment.

You Are a Vanilla Shake

Vanilla, yes, but definitely not boring.

You are subtly complex and deeply sophisticated.

You're the type of person who has always been ahead of their time.

You don't fall for gimmicks or tricks. You are drawn to what's true.

What Jonathan Means

J is for Juicy

O is for Old

N is for Normal

A is for Artistic

T is for Terrific

H is for Heavenly

A is for Articulate

N is for Nice